Masks

Alright, well its been about a year since I blogged. Oops. No time to catch up, lets just get right to it.

If you walk by the door and glance into my room, it looks pretty clean. Things are in order, you can see the floor, and every item has its place. However. When I walk in all I see is a mess. School papers crammed into folders, clothes stuffed into drawers, and let's not even begin to talk about how badly I want to vacuum my floor right now (it's been on my to-do list for a week). But if somebody comes in to my room to talk I can shuffle the papers around, close the closet door, and steer their eyes away from the little black pieces of intramural field turf all over my floor.

I can hide my mess.

And boy, am I good at it! But let me tell you, its exhausting... I live in my room. I do homework in my room and occasionally eat in my room. How am I supposed to keep it clean?! I'm constantly walking around my room trying to do little things to make it look tidy. But I will never have it completely clean. Never. Something will always be out of place.

So let me break it down for you. My room is a hidden disaster area. My life is a hidden disaster area. I have nothing right, I'm stressed about a million different deadlines, and I'm counting down the days till I can just go HOME. But I can so easily fool you into thinking that its all together! It's just a mask. An exhausting mask. I'm tired of it. It's time to tell the world: KRISTI IS A MESS.

And it's ok.

Because Jesus is the ultimate life-cleaner. He lovingly cleans up my mess and doesn't get mad at me for letting it get that bad in the first place. He gives me grace. I think it's time to stop worrying about making my life-mess look neat. And duh, that's hard because that mask has been worn my entire life. I'll be honest, I don't exactly know what taking the "have-it-all-together" mask off looks like because I've never done it before. It's scary. What will people think?! But I know that the freedom and rest I'll find in Christ will be a whole lot better than the edge-of-a-nervous-breakdown girl that I am right now. Well, here it goes. I'll keep you updated. (Maybe.)

All of this has been inspired by the book Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman. Buy it. Now.